


I Saw Crowley Kissing Santa Claus

by Caedmon



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Christmas Smut, Love Confessions, M/M, Mall Santa Claus, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:15:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28175277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon
Summary: Crowley is an elf photographer at Celestial Arcade who has fallen in love with the man playing Santa, Aziraphale Fell. They're navigating a new relationship together, but when left alone in the gingerbread house breakroom for an hour, what will they do?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 76
Kudos: 218
Collections: Good Omens Human AUs, Ineffable Holiday 2020, Top Aziraphale Recs





	I Saw Crowley Kissing Santa Claus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CynSyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynSyn/gifts).
  * Inspired by [All I Want For Christmas Is You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27758374) by [Caedmon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon). 



> This story is basically a smutty fourth chapter to "All I Want For Christmas Is You", written by me. It's not likely to make much sense if you haven't read it, but the smut could probably be enjoyed on its own. 
> 
> This amazing artwork is by Tarek. Thank you, darling!
> 
> Unbeta'd, so all the mistakes are on me. I own nothing. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are love. Thank you for them. 
> 
> Merry Christmas!!

The next couple of days were a happy blur. Crowley would get up in the morning, go to work with Aziraphale at the Arcade, spend the entire day doing his job as an elf photographer, then, after work, he and Aziraphale would go out on the town. They’d hold hands constantly, sharing lots of kisses, and even some tentative touches. Then they’d say goodbye late at night and Crowley would come home to his flat. The next morning, he'd wake up happy to do it all again. 

Their time together at work was different, too. There wasn’t much they could do, surrounded by children and families - not to mention Gabriel - but they spent at least part of their lunch break cuddled up on the ratty couch together, wrapped in each other’s arms, sharing light, exploratory touches and scads of kisses. They were careful not to let Gabriel know what was going on, unsure of how he would react, so one or the other of them set an alarm every day for five minutes to two, just before Gabriel came back. When the alarm went off, they’d share a lingering, ‘til later’ kiss, then separate until Gabriel came to end their lunch. They’d work the afternoon shift, changing back into their usual kit when work ended, and go out on the town again - as a couple. 

Crowley had never been so happy in his life. He’d thought he’d been enamored of Aziraphale before, but with every passing minute, he was falling deeper and deeper into love. The next step, he figured, was to spend the night together, and Crowley was nearly ready. He’d purchased some condoms and lube from the chemist and had them ready to go at his flat, and he’d also cleaned his flat this morning before work so he could invite Aziraphale back. Now, all he had to do was work up the nerve to ask him. 

Gabriel arrived promptly at one, wearing a bright blue suit bedecked in snowmen and cartoon fairy lights. He put out the sign that said “Santa is feeding the reindeer! Back in an hour!”, and relieved Crowley and Aziraphale for lunch. As he always did, he escorted them to the gingerbread house to give a little pep talk. 

“You two are far and away the best Santa and elf duo in the last fifteen years,” Gabriel was saying as he ushered them into the breakroom. “Crowley, you’ve outsold every elf we’ve ever had by leaps and bounds. And Aziraphale, the parents just rave about you. _Both_ of you.”

“Yes, I rather think that Crowley and I make a good team,” Aziraphale said with a little wink at Crowley, who grinned back.

“Crowley, I do hope you’ll consider coming back next year.”

“Well, next year is a long time from now, but I’d at least be willing to think about it.”

“I’ll talk him into it,” Aziraphale said, his eyes twinkling. 

“Very good,” Gabriel said approvingly. “You do that.” Then his brow knitted. “Crowley, there’s a tear in your costume.”

“There is?”

“Yes, on the back, near your neck. Damn.”

Aziraphale said, “Not to worry, Gabriel. I keep a little sewing kit in my pocket here for just such a purpose.”

“Can you sew?”

“I can manage a couple of stitches, if it’s needful,” he said. 

“Oh, good. I’ll just leave you to it, then. Enjoy your lunches. I’ll be back at two.” Then he gave them a smarmy smile and a thumbs up. “You’re my guys!”

Crowley and Aziraphale both gave him a fake smile and a thumbs up, then he left and they both heaved a sigh of relief. As soon as he was gone, Crowley turned to face Aziraphale, who reached out to hold Crowley’s hand, and they shared a sweet kiss. 

“I thought he’d never leave today,” Crowley murmured against Aziraphale’s lips. 

Aziraphale grinned. “Yes, but I suppose he at least has nice things to say.”

“I suppose.”

His blue eyes twinkled. “Shall we eat quickly so we can have some time to ourselves? I need to sew your costume, too, after all.”

“I’d love to, angel.” 

They got out their food, heated it up, then ate as quickly as they could without making themselves sick, both of them eager to wind up in each other’s arms. As soon as they were done, Crowley gathered up the rubbish to throw in the bin and popped in a breath mint. It wouldn’t do to be kissing Aziraphale with bad breath. 

While Crowley was throwing away the garbage, Aziraphale was rifling through the pockets of his jacket. Crowley saw him stick something into the pocket of his Santa costume before he pulled out a little sewing kit, about the size of a wallet. 

“You weren’t kidding. You actually do have a sewing kit,” Crowley said. 

“Yes, I tore my costume in my first year and didn’t have one. I had to go through an entire shift with the crotch torn in my trousers. That was embarrassing, so I kept one with me while I’m here from then on.”

“Makes sense,” Crowley said. 

“Now come here,” Aziraphale said with a smile and a gesture. “Let’s get this over with so we can spend some time on the couch.”

“Yes, sir,” Crowey said with a grin, coming over to where Aziraphale was standing, beside the table. He couldn’t help but steal a kiss from Aziraphale’s pink lips with a smile before he turned around and presented his back to his love. 

Aziraphale smoothed his hands over Crowley’s shoulders and arms before he started, and Crowley felt himself shiver a little. Aziraphale must have noticed because he chuckled. 

Then Aziraphale went to work on the little tear. He couldn’t see what Aziraphale was doing, of course, but he could feel his hands moving. He was close to his beloved, so close he could smell that cologne and old parchment smell, and he closed his eyes for a moment to savor. 

Aziraphale’s fingers brushed Crowley’s bare neck several times, making him break out in pleasant gooseflesh. Aziraphale moved a bit closer, so close Crowley could feel his breath on the nape of his neck, and his cock twitched in his tights. Crowley closed his eyes and willed it to behave… but it spurred him into asking a question, too. 

“Hey, angel?” he said, his voice a little unsteady. 

“Yes, darling?”

“I was just thinking… and you can feel free to say no. You’re under no obligation or anything…”

“Obligation to what?” he asked, sounding amused. 

Crowley took a deep breath. “I was just wondering if you might like to come back to my place after dinner tonight,” he said, his heart pounding.

“You were?” Aziraphale replied, sounding even more amused. 

“Yeah. We could, I don’t know, watch a movie or something.”

He felt gentle fingertips on his neck. “Is that all you’re hoping to do?” Aziraphale asked in a teasing voice. 

“N - no,” Crowley admitted. “But I’d be happy just to spend time with you.”

Aziraphale’s fingertips were caressing his neck now, and Crowley’s cock was standing at attention. “You want to spend time with me?”

Crowley nodded. “Yeah. I would.”

“I think I could be persuaded,” Aziraphale said in a silky tone, his fingers stroking. Crowley could feel his breath on his neck and his cock stiffened further. “Will I be spending the night?”

“If - if you want to. But I’d like that.”

“I think I’d like that, too,” Aziraphale said, and then Crowley felt a soft kiss on the nape of his neck. He closed his eyes. 

“What will we do if I spend the night?” Aziraphale asked, letting his hands roam over Crowley’s shoulders now. 

“We could do whatever you want,” Crowley said in a strangled voice, afraid he may melt. 

Another kiss to Crowley’s neck. “Would we watch telly?”

“If you want.”

Aziraphale’s hands skimmed up Crowley’s sides. “Would we hold each other?”

“Yes. Definitely.”

Aziraphale pressed an open mouth kiss to Crowley’s neck, his tongue darting out to taste, and slid his arms around Crowely’s waist. He pressed his body up against Crowley’s and Crowley could feel the ridge of his cock against his bum. 

“Would we make love?” Aziraphale whispered between kisses, his hands sliding all over Crowley’s torso, his cock grinding gently against his arse.

“I - yeah,” Crowley managed. “I’d - I’d love to.”

Crowley just stood there for a bit, his eyes closed, his hands clenched into fists, letting Aziraphale run his hands all over his body and grind against his bum. He had never been so aroused in his entire life, and he thought he might just _die_ from being so turned on. His cock was throbbing, pulsing, desperate for something. 

Blessedly, Aziraphale sent his hand down to cup Crowley’s erection and Crowley let out an involuntary noise. 

“You’re aroused, dear,” he breathed against Crowley’s neck, still rolling his hips. 

Crowley nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m aroused, too. Can you feel me?”

He pushed his bum back to give Aziraphale some friction and nodded again. “I feel you.”

Aziraphale sucked the side of Crowley’s neck and stroked him through his tights. “Tell me, dear. Have you ever had sex at work?”

“Ngk. N -no.”

“Would you like to?”

“Anything, angel. Anything,” he all but sobbed. 

Aziraphale ground against him a bit more, still sucking his neck, then placed a final kiss to the mark he’d left. “I’ve had an idea.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m going to go sit on the couch while you lock the door. When you get back, I want you to come sit in my lap and tell me if you’ve been a good boy all year.”

Crowley swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. Alright. Yeah.”

Aziraphale squeezed his cock, then took a step back. “Go on, go. Then come back to me.”

He didn’t hesitate to rush over to the door, turning the deadbolt as quickly as he was able, then sliding a chair in front of the door for good measure. He did _not_ want to be walked in on. That done, he turned to find Aziraphale sitting on the couch, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He’d laid a strip of three condoms and a little bottle of lubricant on the couch beside him and had his mobile in his hand. 

“There,” he said, setting the phone to the side. “The alarm is set. We have forty minutes. Whatever should we do?”

Crowley was unable to answer, he just swallowed hard, his eyes wide. This whole situation felt somehow unreal to him, and he couldn't completely make sense of it. 

Aziraphale’s wicked grin grew and he used his finger to beckon Crowley. “Come here, darling, and sit on Santa’s lap.”

Crowley obeyed, coming over to Aziraphale, who reached for him when he was close enough. Crowley allowed himself to be pulled into Aziraphale’s lap, so he was straddling Aziraphale’s hips, his hands coming to rest on Aziraphale’s shoulders. Aziraphale grinned up at him and removed Crowley’s glasses, laying them beside the mobile, then his hands went down to grip Crowley’s hips. He could feel the angel’s cock, hard against his, and he rolled his hips a little, unable to resist. 

“Before we do this,” Aziraphale said, his eyes stormy. “I feel compelled to ask if you _want_ to.”

“Ngk. Yes,” Crowley nodded. “God, yes. I want you so much, angel.”

Aziraphale flexed his fingers in Crowley’s hips and ground against him. “Are you sure?”

“I’m a thousand percent sure.”

“Very good,” he said, his eyes twinkling. 

Crowley had established a rhythm, grinding their cocks together, and his eyes were locked on Aziraphale’s. He would do anything for this man at this moment. _Anything_.

“I suppose my next question,” Aziraphale said, his eyes twinkling, “should be, ‘Have you been naughty or nice?’”

“What’s the correct answer to make you fuck me?” Crowely asked in a near whine. 

Aziraphale chuckled. “Well, as Santa, I usually prefer to reward _nice_ behavior. But in your case, I think I might make an exception.” He started laying kisses on Crowley’s neck, slow, worshipful things that made Crowley close his eyes and draw a shuddering breath. “Would you like it if I… slid down your chimney? Stuffed your stocking?”

Crowley groaned, the roll of his hips speeding up. “Yes. Fuck. I would.”

“Good. I think I’d like to do that,” Aziraphale practically purred between slow kisses. Crowley’s hand came up to thread though his hair, clutching his head. “Christ, Crowley. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything the way I want you.”

“I want you, too,” Crowley said, his breathing getting ragged. 

Aziraphale sucked at the place his neck and shoulder met, squeezing his hands in Crowley’s arse hard, like he was fighting for control. Then he pulled back and looked up at Crowley. His eyes were bleary with lust, his pupils blown wide, leaving only a ring of blue, and Crowley captured his mouth in a messy, needy kiss. Their tongues tangled and they ground their cocks against each other wantonly. Then the kiss broke and they retreated a few inches. 

“Stand up and take off your tights, Crowley,” Aziraphale said in a sexy, commanding voice. 

Crowley scrambled to do as he’d been asked, getting to his feet and shoving down his tights and pants. He’d only gotten them to his knees when he felt Aziraphale’s hands on him, pulling him over, and before he could react, Aziraphale had a hand around his cock, taking him into his mouth. Crowley cried out and gripped his head, and Aziraphale didn’t hesitate a moment before he’d established a fantastic rhythm. Crowley watched with hooded eyes as Aziraphale bobbed on him, making little moans of pleasure like he made when he ate, his eyes closed in bliss. And when Aziraphale opened his eyes and looked up at Crowley while he sucked him, Crowley nearly came. 

“Jesus, angel. Your mouth feels so good. Shit!”

Aziraphale closed his eyes and sucked hard, using his hands to guide Crowley into thrusting. The angel opened his mouth wider and took Crowley deeper, and Crowley hit the back of his throat, crying out. 

“Angel! Fuck! I can’t… I’m going to come!”

Aziraphale backed off a little, going back to sucking and pumping and Crowley felt himself relax a little. He was still close, but not dangerously close. Then Aziraphale pulled off entirely, looking up at Crowley with his stormy blue eyes and his lips swollen and spit shiny, pumping his cock. 

“Do you want me, darling?”

Crowley nodded. “God, yes.”

“Do you want me to _fuck_ you?”

He nodded even more vigorously. “Yes. Please, angel.” 

Aziraphale pressed one more kiss to the head of Crowley’s cock, his eyes never leaving Crowley’s, then he sat back. “Get on the couch, on your knees, facing the back.”

“Yessss,” Crowley hissed, doing as he’d been told. He shoved down the tights to his ankles, then climbed up onto the couch, gripping the back, his heart pounding. He felt Aziraphale’s hands on his arse, sliding over his skin, and was turning back to look at Aziraphale when he suddenly felt his cheeks being pulled apart and Aziraphale’s tongue against his hole. 

“ _Jesus Christ!_ ” he shouted, his whole body going stiff, but Aziraphale was relentless. He ate of Crowley like a man starving, making more of the sounds that turned Crowley on so much. Crowley himself was a symphony of sounds as Aziraphale’s tongue swirled around his hole: babbling and pleading and calling Aziraphale’s name, mixed with sounds that bore no relation to language. 

“Angel… angel… please… oh Christ!” he shouted, nearly incoherent. His knuckles were white on the back of the couch. “Aziraphale... your tongue is so hot… Jesus! Yes! More!”

He heard the click of a bottle, then felt pressure on his arsehole among the swirls of Aziraphale’s tongue… then fullness, and realized Aziraphale had slid a finger inside him. He groaned brokenly when Aziraphale started fucking him on that finger.

“Yes, Aziraphale, yes… It’s so good. I can’t wait for you to fuck me… give me more…”

Crowley felt the pressure on his arsehole grow and slowly, Aziraphale inserted a second finger. Crowley let his head drop to his chest, his mind whirling with sensation. 

“Angel… angel… oh God… Fuck! I want you so badly… please…”

Aziraphale quit eating him out for just a moment. “Do you want more fingers, or do you want me to fuck you?” he asked, his voice gravelly. 

“Fuck me. Please, please fuck me.”

“My pleasure,” he said, then leaned over, pressing one more sucking kiss to Crowley’s arsehole, his fingers still fucking him. Crowley turned to watch as Aziraphale unfastened his red trousers one handed and let them fall, revealing his thick, hard cock. He couldn’t help a groan of anticipation. The corner of Aziraphale’s mouth quirked up for just a moment, as if he knew what Crowley was groaning for, then slid his fingers out of Crowley’s arse. Quick as a flash, he opened the condom with his teeth, rolled it on, then grabbed the lube to slick his cock. Once he was satisfied, he stepped forward to where Crowley was waiting and slid his cock head up and down the crease of Crowley’s bum. 

“Are you ready, darling?”

Crowley nodded. “Yes, please. Fuck me.”

Aziraphale lined himself up with his hole and started pushing his way inside. Every single inch felt like a miracle, and Crowley closed his eyes to savor the feeling until Aziraphale had gone as far as he could and his hips were flush against Crowley’s arse. 

“Are you alright, dear?”

He nodded again, his mouth open to facilitate harsh breaths. “I’m perfect.”

“You _feel_ perfect,” Aziraphale said, rubbing his hand across Crowley’s arse lovingly.

“Fuck me, Aziraphale,” Crowley said, his voice strained. “Please, fuck me.”

Without a word, Aziraphale withdrew his cock until only the head remained inside, then pushed his way back in. He did it again, and again, gaining speed and force. Crowley groaned and let his head drop, his eyes closed in bliss. Aziraphale fucked him with long, smooth strokes, and every pass of the head of his cock hit Crowley’s prostate just right. 

Aziraphale sped up, fucking him harder, his hands on Crowley’s hips, bent over his back, pressing kisses to Crowley’s clothed shoulder. 

“You feel so good, darling. Your arse is so sweet… and you take my cock so well. Tell me, do you like the way I’m fucking you? Do you love it?”

“Yes!” Crowley cried. “I love it. I love it so much. Your cock is so big and thick and fills me just right… harder! Please!”

Aziraphale clutched his hips in a tighter grip and started fucking him harder. “I don’t think I’ve ever fucked an arse as sweet as yours, darling. I never want to give it up. I want you to be mine for always.”

“I am yours! All yours! Fuck!” Crowley shouted. 

“I’m getting close, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, his voice choppy with exertion. I”m going to come for you. Will you come for me?”

“Yes, yes, I’m going to come, please…”

“Would you like for me to touch you?”

“Please,” Crowley sobbed. “Please touch me…”

Aziraphale released his hip and pulled him upright, so his back was pressed against his belly. One arm went around his chest, holding him in place, and the other hand went down and wrapped around his bobbing cock to stroke him hard and fast. Suddenly, Crowley was _extremely_ close to orgasm and knew it wouldn’t be long. 

“Crowley… Crowley… oh God… Crowley…” Aziraphale moaned, his voice rough, his speech broken with his thrusts. “Kiss me, darling, please.”

Crowley craned his neck to turn around and meet Aziraphale's mouth in a sloppy kiss, and moaned when Aziraphale sucked on his tongue. 

“Here I come, darling,” Aziraphale said, his breath against Crowley’s mouth. “Here I come. Can you come for me? Please, darling, please come for me…”

Crowley shattered, breaking into a million sparkling pieces. He shouted Aziraphale’s name, then some random nonsense as his cock spilled hot all over Aziraphale’s hand. There were no words to describe it, it was unlike anything he’d ever felt, and he was sure his soul had left his body. He was dimly aware of Aziraphale shouting something and going stiff behind him, buried as deep as he could go, but was too wrapped up in his own ecstasy to think much about it. 

Slowly, he started to come down from his high, his breath ragged, his pulse wild, feeling as if he’d been wrung out with pleasure. Aziraphale still held him, his head on Crowley’s shoulder, and his breathing was harsh, too. 

Eventually, Aziraphale raised his head and breathed, “Kiss me, darling, please,” in Crowley’s ear. Crowley was only too eager to do so. He turned his head and gave Aziraphale a slow, languid kiss, still pulsing with sensation. 

When the kiss broke, they only separated by a few inches, still breathing each other’s air, their eyes closed. 

“My darling,” Aziraphale said, his voice a breath against Crowley’s lips. “May I hold you?”

Crowley nodded. “Yeah. Please.”

Aziraphale pressed one more kiss to Crowley’s slack mouth, then without a word, withdrew his cock from Crowley's body, making both of them moan. Crowley mourned the loss of Aziraphale’s heat against his back when he pulled away, and just took a moment to gather himself before he climbed off the couch again and began to pull his tights and pants up. 

Once he had his clothes straight, he turned around to see Aziraphale over by the bin, disposing of the condom, then going over to the door to unlock it and move the chair back into place. Crowey just watched him, unsure what to do or say, until Aziraphale came back to the couch, pocketed the lube and two remaining condoms, then sat down on the couch, looking up at Crowley with an expectant smile. Crowley grinned and sat down beside him, leaning into his side. Within seconds, they were wrapped up in each other’s arms, sharing light kisses. 

“Thank you, my darling,” Aziraphale said against his lips. 

Crowley smiled. “Angel, that was my pleasure.”

“Not _entirely_ your pleasure, I assure you,” Aziraphale said with a grin at him. Then he sobered a bit. “I should also apologize.”

“Why?” Crowley asked, alarmed. “Do you regret what we just did?”

“Oh, no, darling. Not at all. I’d been hoping for something like that, which was why I had condoms and lubricant. No, I don’t regret it one bit.”

“Then why are you sorry?”

“Because I wanted our first time to be magical. I wanted it to be tender and sweet - I wanted it to match the feelings I have for you. I wanted it to be _making love_. But I let myself get carried away.”

“I’m not sorry,” Crowley said. “I loved what we did.”

“I’m not sorry for what we did, either. Not at all. I simply wish I had shown you more of what I feel.”

Crowley swallowed. “And what - what do you feel?”

Aziraphale looked a little alarmed, his eyes wide, and he swallowed, too. “I… well, how would you feel if I told you I was falling for you?”

Crowley lit up. “Yeah?”

“Yes. In fact, I think I already have.”

He kissed him hard, too excited to wait. When they broke apart, Aziraphale was smiling. 

“I take it you’re not upset by this?”

Crowley laughed. “Not at _all_. Oh, angel. I’ve fallen for you, too. I fell for you the instant I met you, I think.”

Then they were kissing again, tongues tangled, and Crowley thought his heart might burst out of his chest. He was in love with an angel - and that angel loved him back. Bloody hell. He couldn’t even process it. Christmas miracles really _were_ real.

Beside them, the alarm on Aziraphale’s mobile went off, causing them to break the kiss. Aziraphale scooped it up, silenced it, then turned back to Crowley. 

“Back to work, I guess?” he said.

“I suppose so. Gabriel will be here in just a minute.”

“Well, before he comes, I want to tell you that I love you very much.”

Crowley beamed. “I love you, too.”

“And tonight, when we get back to your flat, I’m going to _make_ love to you the way you deserve. Slow and sweet, all night.”

He kissed him sweetly. “I can’t wait.”


End file.
